Your guide on how to write and nail them.
So, you are braving it and penning those vows from scratch. AWESOME! This is definitely the moment for stepping out of that comfort zone and speaking the words in your heart. For some of you this is right up your alley, the opportunity to write your Thesis on Love. For others, not so much. (Don’t worry, I’ve got you 😊)
Before you sit down to do this you may want to have a quick chat to your love about the tone of the moment (and pour yourself a nice stiff drink). Laughs are good, for sure – but you are going to need a bit more than that. This moment is the real deal and a chance to tell your person just how much you love them, and why. Your vows are the very heart of the ceremony and whether you are eloping or have a solid crowd of loved-ones hanging on your every word…everyone will disappear once we arrive here (Even me. I’ll slip you your vow cards, some tissues and the mic, and leave you to enjoy this moment alone).
So where were we? The tone. Agree roughly on the kind of levels of romance, humour and wit you are going to bring to the moment…and also the approximate length. (Although personally, I think it’s fair to say there will always be people of fewer words and people of many, and it’s fine for your vows to reflect that too).
There is no better way to begin, than to just begin.
What is this person? What makes them special? What do you love most about them?
“Since that time…”
“I can’t believe how far we’ve come…”
What was a memorable moment at the beginning when you knew in your stomach and heart and every part of you that THIS IS IT?…
You have brought so much…
“happiness into my life…”
“Adventure and fun….”
You have made me feel…
“Like I can completely and truly be myself…”
“Like I can achieve anything I set my mind to…”
What have they brought to the table? How has your life changed for having this amazing person in it?…
“and you inspire me every day with your”….
“Passion for life?….Dance moves in the kitchen?…Ability to only say things exactly as they are?…Kindness towards everyone around you?…How hard you work for our family?….”
What do you imagine for your future together
When I think of the future and the great experiences that await, I see you beside me…
So as I stand here today;
“….walking into marriage with you…”
“….about to become the luckiest person on earth and marry my favourite human…”
“….marrying my best friend…”
I promise you;
(OK, things just got real – spill the beans! Start with a few sweet and genuine ones…)
“….to always seek out…”
“…to remind you of just how special you are…”
I can’t promise you I will/won’t;
(It’s time for a bit of humour – what can’t/won’t you change)
“…scream at the top of my lungs when insert football team win, even its it’s the middle of night”
“…tell you I’m not hungry and then eat most of your food…”
But I CAN promise you;
(wrap it up with something really meaningful and beautiful)
“I will stand beside you no matter what we face in life…”
“I will hold you when there are no words to be said…”
“To rally for you in everything that matters to you in this life…”
Over to you now my loves. Go grab your pen!
As a side note there are other ways to do this if this is truly not you. You can write your vows together, fill them with all the stuff that is important to you, and read them to each other, taking turns one sentence each. Every time my couples have done this they have nailed it, and it’s been SO BEAUTIFUL.
You can have an ‘Asking’ – where before you exchange your legal vows I ask you in turn some questions that are totally relevant to you (and sweet and fun) – and you get off with an easy ‘I do”.
That being said – it is the ABSOLUTE BEST when you be brave and write down those beautiful words tucked away in your heart for your favourite person on this planet. DO IT.